My anger has found meaning. Although because it has found focus it's a lot more mellow. So often I look all around me and see the injustices in the world and it gets under my skin. Honestly sometimes I just don't understand discrimination, and sexism and  any kind of extremism. Why are people that speak their minds hazed  and torn down. This world it makes me angry. Well I learned today that these extreme and narrow mined views  exist in what we perceive to be innocent and wholesome. Disney films... with their demonstration of the role a woman should play and that of a man. The woman is ALWAYS the damsel in distress, always needs to be rescued eventually. It doesn't matter how strong or independent they start out in the end they have to give up who they are to summit to a man. Take the little mermaid for example, she gave up her voice for the prince, for the chance of getting him. What does that leave her with her body, it's all she has left, but you know what in the end she gets him. In the original story shes treated like a dog literally, but maybe that actually is a better message for children.  Giving up who you are is not a way to earn a prince and we should not be shown this as children. These images shape our perception as children, take beauty and the beast, the beast is highly abusive, but he is forgiven and it becomes her responsibility to change him.  NO, that's not right... this is the core foundation to unhealthy relationships so why do we set little kids in front of the TV and tell them to watch. Why should woman believe that they need to be rescued. There is no reason why we can't rescue ourselves. I'm personally offended as to how seductive Disney makes a lot of their female characters, guess what they don't even have to be human. They always have this slow seductive nature to them, with long fluttering eyelashes that absolutely temps, and entrances the male character. This can teach young girls to manipulate and use their looks to get what they want. This is not a good message to send to young impressionable kids. Children that can't even walk yet are exposed to these images, these messages can easily become a part of their subconscious perceptions, but in a world where even Disney is not even innocent where does that leave us?

                                          

                                             ~Until next time~  
                                                        Jess

After you read take a look at this, a movie we were watching in class that brought this all to my attention. http://www.videosift.com/video/Mickey-Mouse-Monopoly
 

 

Her name was silhouette and she was a dream, my dream. She was never quite aware of my presence. Every time I walked by and glanced her way she never noticed. She seemed to exist in a different reality. I was a ghost, pale, bleak and fading and she was my world. My universe of unattainable entities. I was shrouded in shadows and she was beaming light. The girl on the other side of the mirror.

I'm so tired, my brain just want's to break down. I want to freeze time and hide away for awhile I want to fall asleep and just lay there for days. I'm worn down, that's what 20 min. of my mom does. I NEED to do things, but I just can't focus. I don't know if I can do this all of this. I don't remember my pin, it's all to much right now. Oh how I would love to take a nap and wake up smiley. I got shows to watch soon, which is good because my mind is not functioning.

I guess I just need to pull it together and build up the courage and devotion I need. I feel like I'm under so much pressure because I have two weeks. Yet in reality I can do this in two weeks if I can just work through this lethargic state. It's fleeting and unpredictable not a constant throb. More like a shadow that moves with the position of the sun. Sometimes it's behind me, sometimes I'm beyond it. Yet, other times it's right on me, suffocating me like the blaring sun. I feel drained and weak, it's temporary. I still hate it, my eyes just want to close. I just want to curl up and sleep. I got to shake it, tomorrow is an important day. I hate this pressure, this self given pressure. It's like a slow strangulation with out the fear. The point where you already have given into death and your just waiting for your brain to shut down. It's short lived but it hits hard. I just got to shake it off.


I feel like I''m throwing it all away... I know it's not true, not even close. The very worst that will happen is I will have to take a semester off. That's not that bad, I don't want to but honestly it's not bad. Logically I know this, but my mind is just so drained so I'm not reacting with my mind. I'm feeling hopeless for now. Soon I will shake it off, soon I will be just fine and all these words I will no longer relate to, because it's hard to understand the kind of truth that lies in these words unless you are experiencing them in the moments you read. Tomorrow I will think this is drastic, but tonight this is how I feel.